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I was sent this today and you have to smile

Subject: Fw: SINGLE BLACK FEMALE
This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Cornish Guardian.





SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me... Call 01272-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.....

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Cool, Rochie!

My colleague Anne managed to supply me with the much-sought-after-by-me ink blotter, and I picked up a fresh bottle of blue ink today.
So now I can write all I want with my favourite fountain pen without the fear of running dry.
 
Subject: MBNA Bank

Reported in the Irish Times recently;

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so
priceless And so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!

A lady died this past September, and MBNA bank billed her for October and November for their annual service charges on her credit card,
and Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance that had been E0.00, now is somewhere around E60.00.

A family member placed a call to the MBNA Bank:
Family Member:'I am calling to tell you that she was dead in October.

MBNA:'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: Maybe you should turn it over to collections.'

MBNA:'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

MBNA: Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to The credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: Do you think God will be mad at her?'

MBNA: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: Did you just get what I was telling you . . The part about her Being dead?'

MBNA:'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: I'm calling to tell you, she was dead in October.

MBNA: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

MBNA: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: No, I'm her great nephew.'(Lawyer info given)

MBNA: Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: Sure.'

( fax number is given )
After they get the fax:

MBNA:'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I Can do to help.'

Family Member:Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing Her.I don't think she will care.'

MBNA: Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member: Would you like her new billing address?'

MBNA: That might help.'

Family Member Glasnevin Cemetry, Finglas Road , Dublin 11, Ireland , Plot Number 1049.'

MBNA: Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
'Well, what the hell do you do with dead people on your planet?'

MBNA were not available for comment when a reporter from the Irish Times rang.
 

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