ScOoTeR1992
Senior Airman
lmao!! guys where you find all this stuff
Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' and the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played golf a lot and, drank beer and scotch, bought 12 guns a month, and had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up, and farted whenever he wanted.
The End
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' and the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played golf a lot and, drank beer and scotch, bought 12 guns a month, and had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up, and farted whenever he wanted.
The End
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
When Love Fades:
>
> A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice
> from the kitchen..
>
> What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?
>
> He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
>
> "Screw You. You're having soup. I was talking to the cat."
Charles
>
> A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice
> from the kitchen..
>
> What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?
>
> He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."
>
> "Screw You. You're having soup. I was talking to the cat."
Charles
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
B-17engineer
Colonel
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
Your not really that phobic are you Harrison?
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
wheelsup_cavu
1st Sergeant
Maestro
Master Sergeant
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
LMAO...too!
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Looks like what we call in Sweden an AK-4...
.....and,
LMFAO!
.....and,
LMFAO!
beaupower32
Tech Sergeant
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. ( i like to call myself Fluffy)
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping out.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. ( i like to call myself Fluffy)
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping out.
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
A-FRICKEN-MEN!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Heh. Just don't ever answer that one with "Boobs", Gumbyk!
Traffic Camera
A man was driving in the city when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He
figured that his picture had been taken to check for exceeding the limit,
even though he knew that he was not speeding...
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving
even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as
he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a
fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's
pace...
Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat
belt.
You can't fix stupid.
Traffic Camera
A man was driving in the city when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He
figured that his picture had been taken to check for exceeding the limit,
even though he knew that he was not speeding...
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving
even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as
he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a
fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's
pace...
Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat
belt.
You can't fix stupid.
B-17engineer
Colonel
