Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

[Geedee]

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music

The "iTit" will cost from £499 to £699 depending on cup and speaker size

This is considered a major social and technological breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

 

[vikingBerserker]

LMAO

 

[Aaron Brooks Wolters]

 

[BikerBabe]

Serves us right, I guess!

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wayne Little]

friggin' great one Gary!!

 

[wheelsup_cavu]

Good one Gary.


Wheels

 

[Velius]

Good ones- all of them guys! Here's a quick one (sorry if posted before)

There was this one oriental couple named the Wongs who had their first child. Time went by and they had a second child. Some more time went by and they had a third. When they went to the nursery to get their newborn child the nurse led them a Caucasian looking baby and Mr. Wong said sharply "That not ours- two Wongs don't make a white!"

 

[vikingBerserker]

LMAO

 

[RabidAlien]

On the subject of groaners....what do you get when you throw a grenade into a kitchen in France?

Linoleum BlownApart. (say it out loud)

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wayne Little]

Strewth RA....

 

[Lucky13]

The day that we are born, is the last day when we are truly free....

 

[Maestro]

What did you say, Lucky ? I'm sorry, I was busy looking at your avatar...

What about a "blast from the past" with Hugh Laurie ?


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__DrJI7mTHQ

 

[BikerBabe]

From "The Colditz Story":
German commandant: "In order to recieve extra privaliges, would any prisoners prepared to work for the Third Reich please step forward.
French officer steps forward: "I would like to work for the Third Reich"
(Gasps from the prisoners and astonishment from the commandant): "You wish to work for the Third Reich?"
"Yes, I wish to work for the Third Reich, and I want to make it clear that I would rather work for twenty Germans than one Frenchman!"
More gasps and angry looks from the other prisoners.
"And what is your profession?"
"Undertaker!"

 

[wheelsup_cavu]

Good one BB.


Wheels

 

[Wayne Little]

Good one Maria!

 

[RabidAlien]

Excellent, BB!

An elderly man was sitting outside a cafe one morning when a young, well tattooed and pierced 18 year old with a huge mohawk, dyed blue and green, walked by. The old man just stared for a minute. The kid, noticing the stare asked "What's up old timer, haven't you ever done anything crazy in your life?" The old man softly said: "Yeah, about 18 years ago I got drunk and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if maybe you were my kid."

 

[Vassili Zaitzev]

Here's something funny I found on youtube. Warning: profanity

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QyYaPWasos

 

[Gnomey]