Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)
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Maestro
Master Sergeant
Two friends Jethro and Denzil win a raffle with a prize of a scenic flight from a local airport
Jethro goes first and comes back with a big grin on his face, telling Denzil how great it was and how he will love it. So off goes Denzil while Jethro waits in the club house. About twenty mins. later he is summoned to the control tower where he hears the controller talking to Denzil.
Now try to remain calm Mr Penburthy and tell me exactly what is wrong.
Well the pilot 'ave passed out and I don't know what to do.
Can you tell me where you are and what attitude the plane is
We're upside down over Truro 'cos I can see the cathedral
And how can you tell the plane is upside down?
'COS THE SH*T IS RUNNIN' OUT ME COLLAR!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Ten things you should never say to a woman during an argument
1. Don't you have some laundry to do or something?
2. Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.
3. You are just upset because you butt is beginning to spread.
4. Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it?
5. You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
6.Sorry. I was just picturing you naked.
7. Whoa, time out. Football is on.
8. Looks like someone had a bowl of bitch flakes this morning!
9. Is there anyway we can do this via e-mail?
10. Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.
1. Don't you have some laundry to do or something?
2. Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.
3. You are just upset because you butt is beginning to spread.
4. Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it?
5. You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?
6.Sorry. I was just picturing you naked.
7. Whoa, time out. Football is on.
8. Looks like someone had a bowl of bitch flakes this morning!
9. Is there anyway we can do this via e-mail?
10. Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded.
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO
Colin1
Senior Master Sergeant
Morris and Esther went to Bridlington every year, and every year Morris would watch the helicopter giving pleasure flights and say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is £50, and £50 is £50"
One year later Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."
In characteristic fashion, Esther replied, "Morris, that helicopter ride is £50, and £50 is £50."
The pilot happened to be walking by and overheard the couple and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's £50."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but £50 is £50"
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is £50, and £50 is £50"
One year later Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."
In characteristic fashion, Esther replied, "Morris, that helicopter ride is £50, and £50 is £50."
The pilot happened to be walking by and overheard the couple and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's £50."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but £50 is £50"
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
You go, Morris! 
The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman," a voice intoned as the airplane lifted off. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong........nothing can go wrong......nothing can go wrong......"
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman," a voice intoned as the airplane lifted off. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong........nothing can go wrong......nothing can go wrong......"
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO
A man approached a beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "I've lost my wife here. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" said the women.
"Because every time I tall to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
"Why?" said the women.
"Because every time I tall to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
