Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

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Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music

The "iTit" will cost from £499 to £699 depending on cup and speaker size

This is considered a major social and technological breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
 
Good ones- all of them guys! Here's a quick one (sorry if posted before)

There was this one oriental couple named the Wongs who had their first child. Time went by and they had a second child. Some more time went by and they had a third. When they went to the nursery to get their newborn child the nurse led them a Caucasian looking baby and Mr. Wong said sharply "That not ours- two Wongs don't make a white!"
 
From "The Colditz Story":
German commandant: "In order to recieve extra privaliges, would any prisoners prepared to work for the Third Reich please step forward.
French officer steps forward: "I would like to work for the Third Reich"
(Gasps from the prisoners and astonishment from the commandant): "You wish to work for the Third Reich?"
"Yes, I wish to work for the Third Reich, and I want to make it clear that I would rather work for twenty Germans than one Frenchman!"
More gasps and angry looks from the other prisoners.
"And what is your profession?"
"Undertaker!"
 
Excellent, BB!

An elderly man was sitting outside a cafe one morning when a young, well tattooed and pierced 18 year old with a huge mohawk, dyed blue and green, walked by. The old man just stared for a minute. The kid, noticing the stare asked "What's up old timer, haven't you ever done anything crazy in your life?" The old man softly said: "Yeah, about 18 years ago I got drunk and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if maybe you were my kid."
 
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